Sacred Masculinity & the Burden of Leadership

Throughout my life there have been various crucibles into which I have intentionally thrust myself to force growth. Without question, this most recent spiritual boot camp has been one of the most challenging I’ve ever experienced. It has been a shedding, a deconstructing, a deep reanalyzing of who I am.

In my relationship, I am coming into awareness of the ways in which I still show up in my Peter Pan energy. The little moments where I turn away from responsibility, choosing to stay in Neverland and avoid growing up. It’s a blessing to receive a spotlight on these areas of myself. A painful, didn’t sleep a wink (again), mind-rending blessing.

The emotional pain I am feeling is the fuel. Shame, guilt, and anger are the guideposts which lead me away from behaviors I wish to leave behind. What’s required of me to navigate effectively is to honor these emotions, and to truly feel them. In the deep feeling I allow my awareness to broaden. It is never a comfortable experience to realize you’ve been childish, selfish, entitled.

I’ve created a lot of beauty in my life. I’ve shown up in deep service of others. I’ve charged less than I should for the impact of what I offer, provided tons of free content, and tried to really serve my mission to make healing accessible to those who need it most. As I reconstruct myself, it’s important that I don’t lose sight of these positive parts.

At the same time I recognize the parts of me which have been in shadow. The parts whic