Often in our lives we are forced to pass through the ‘Narrows’. The place in which life gets tight, where we feel extreme pain, pressure, and we are forced to transform.
Perhaps you’ve been there. I certainly have.
It’s the pain of the death of the false self.
It is, honestly, one of the WORST FUCKING PARTS of self-development work when you don’t have some of the tools I’ll list below.
It's the moments where nothing is working. Where it feels like the very universe itself is conspiring against you.
It isn’t, of course, but it sure can feel that way.
The hidden truth is, the Universe, God, your Higher Self, (whatever language works for you) is conspiring against PARTS OF YOU. Pieces of your false self which need to die. If you want to make it through the Narrows, you must leave all that you are NOT at the altar in holy self-sacrament.
↑ Think of it like this ↑
You’ll pass through this period of contraction multiple times throughout your life. It won’t necessarily get any easier each time, unless you can internalize some of the following lessons:
⭃ It’s not personal. Life itself is constantly devouring the things which don’t work. When a tree in the forest isn’t able to get the nutrients, sunlight, or water it needs, the tree withers and dies. From the rotting mass of the old tree, new life springs forward in the form of fungus or plants. You, too, can fertilize the calling of your soul with the decomposing mass of that which no longer serves you. What better way to know you LOVE the freedom of farming outdoors, than to have experienced HATING working indoors in a cubicle?
⭃ It’s a trite saying, but what we resist, persists. The more willing you are to allow parts of you to expire, the more quickly you can move through the Narrows to the next phase of expansion. If I hold my ability to facilitate medicine work as THE MOST SACRED THING, but Spirit is screaming at me to work on my coaching business, the longer I stay attached to my identity as a medicine man, the longer I suffer at my own hand.
⭃ Your practices of introspection will serve double benefit in the Narrows. The main reason people end up in the squeeze of things for an extended period of time is because they actively choose things to dull their awareness. It’s understandable, you feel extreme emotional pain and you want to numb out a bit with alcohol, junk food, or TV non-stop. However, when we dull our awareness, we are literally avoiding looking at the things which need to be shed for us to move to the next level. A healthy meditation habit, journaling practice, or relationship with a GOOD coach will work wonders for realize what needs to be let go of, and ACTUALLY LETTING IT GO!
⭃ Simply understanding that you are IN the Narrows is half of the battle. When you know that you are suffering towards imminent growth, it is SO much easier to bear the weight of the burden. When you know that life is asking you to let some things go, it’s infinitely easier to focus on figuring out what to let go of, rather than wandering aimlessly through the fog of your pain.
⭃ Community is the emotional salve to being in the Narrows. It could just be one close friend, or a coach, or a men’s//women’s circle, but however you source it, having a support system in place will ease the pain dramatically. Just having ONE person who will hold space for you and say, “Wow, this sounds like it is super difficult for you right now. I’m sorry you are struggling like this. What do you think this struggle is showing you?” is the ability to immediately feel seen, supported, and have things put into perspective.
Are you currently finding yourself in the Narrows and would like some clarity, to feel heard, and create a strategy to navigate out? Grab a coaching package and create the results you want in you life ASAP: https://www.throughtheveil.co/plans-pricing
Booking a coaching session is a powerful way to get clear on what exactly it is that you are currently experiencing. From there we co-create an action plan to get you to exactly where you want to be. It also signals to your subconscious that you are taking your growth seriously, as you put an investment directly into your own development.
Thanks for reading. If this article resonated for you, consider sharing it out with a friend!
-Alex